


Predators Play Video Games

by welcometothisday



Series: Pregnant Lady Kicks Predator Butt [4]
Category: Aliens vs Predators Series - Various Authors, Predator Original Series (1987-1990), Predators (2010)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcometothisday/pseuds/welcometothisday
Summary: A series of shorts featuring a human OC and yautja OCs playing video games.Warning: There will be violence, humor, fourth wall breaks, and a tired human of trying to keep yautja from breaking video games.
Relationships: Yautja (Predator)/Original Female Character(s), Yautja/Human
Series: Pregnant Lady Kicks Predator Butt [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723012
Comments: 8
Kudos: 72





	1. Plundered Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I wrote for fun to someone I'd like to consider a friend. They like it, so I hope others will too.
> 
> Most of the games in this will be from the 80s to 90s with free online playthroughs that I'll provide links to. Others (including modern day) will largely be games with branching decision-based stories, or adventure-based.

“Where did you guys get Plundered Hearts? And why do you have an Atari?”

The yautja looked at her in confusion. “Plundered Hearts?”

She gestured to the game console where she had found both items. Bakuub snorted, “A ooman, one I reluctantly allied with, offered it to me as a trophy.”

They allied with humans? In retrospect, it wasn’t that surprising. What was surprising was that Bakuub willingly accepted the gift. When she asked why, he said, “It is considered an extreme insult not to accept a gift, and this ooman claimed it was a part of their youth, something they treasured. I respected them, even if I find the object useless.”

He paused. “Do you know how to use the device?”

She laughed, “Yeah, I do. It’s an interactive game where you play as a female protagonist trying to survive in a dangerous environment while defeating Bad Bloods-" That was the closest analogy she was able to provide them. "-and forced to maintain behavior of what’s appropriate to her role in the culture in the era the game take place in despite the extreme situation. For a lot of people, it’s a challenge of their wit and strategy. It can be considered impressive to get a few of the multiple endings.”

Aya spoke nostalgically. “I remember getting so pissed as a kid when my parents introduced it to me. You have to be 'ladylike' in it. I never reached the real endings. I kept dying or uh, experiencing a fate worse than death.”

She wasn’t going to tell them what that last part meant. Suddenly, she found the yautja trying to figure out how to use the console. “Er, you’re gonna break that.”

They shoved it at her. “You, want to play this? [This](https://www.myabandonware.com/game/plundered-hearts-c9/play-c9)?”

And here she thought if they ever wanted to play a video game, they’d want something more modern, and violent, like a shooter game or something involving hunting. They were obsessed with that.

“You said it practices strategies and can be considered impressive. Show us.”

Wait, were they trying to find a way to impress her? Why were they so intent on finding ways to do that? Impressing was only for mating purposes, wasn't it? And she certainly couldn't mate with them or anything...Could she? Nope, not even gonna think about that. Viewing them as attractive would be weird, and she had enough weirdness in her life.

It took a while, but they figured out how to turn it on. She had to input the words and state what sentences were translated to since it was all in English. The translators they used only went so far. 

“LATE ONE SPRING EVENING IN THE WEST INDIES.” Oh god, she had to explain what the West Indies was. At least there was some snickers at her shitty attempts to match her voice to the tones of the text. She sucked at that. “A crash overhead! Pirates are boarding the Lafond Deux!” 

She really hoped she was pronouncing that right. 

“The Lafond Deux is the ship where the main character originally resides in the game,” she explained.

“Ah.”

“ _The first mate hurries you into Captain Davis’ cabin. ‘Good, you got the girl,’ Davis smirks. ‘She’ll keep the pirates busy. She was only a tool of Lafond’s anyway. Just let me find that cof_ \--’”

The Yautja were growling, clearly not pleased with the situation in the gameplay. She continued, “ _‘A man on deck screams in agony, and Davis starts. ‘Let’s go.’ The captain thrusts you on the bed and walks out, locking the door.’_ ”

The Yautja were growling louder. “ _His laugh echoes. ‘Best get comfortable, girl. You’re likely to be there the rest of your life._ ’”

“I hate this person already.”

“Same,” she agreed. Hopefully her throat wouldn’t get sore from reading out during all of this. “‘ _Cabin, on the bed. You are in the officer’s cabin, lit by the firelight glowing through a porthole. A door is to starboard. Except for the built in bed, the room seems to have been emptied thoroughly, if hurriedly._ ”

She turned to her companions. “Now you can make up an action to get yourself out of the situation, like searching specific parts of your surroundings for tools. You have to use precise words though, and think things through. There's stuff that the program either won't understand, or refuses to follow up on.”

Okay, it wasn't an AI or alive in any way, but the programmers were kind of assholes.

Yeah, they were familiar with that. Bakuub narrowed his eyes, “The room is empty? Except for the bed?”

“Yes.”

“Search the bed.”

_“Other than yourself, you can see nothing on the bed. ‘Aieee!’ echoes a scream, followed by several grunts and thumps.”_ There was more laughter when she vocalized the fake scream, and rather poorly. Acting wasn’t her strong suit, especially with this kind of role. She arched a brow, “Remember, you have to be ‘ladylike’. You can’t be directly violent and attack someone. At least not easily.”

That was really, really pissing them off. 

“Search under the bed,” Bakuub specified.

“ _You see a coffer under the bed._ ” She explained a coffer was a container.

“Open the ‘coffer’.”

“ _You can’t reach the coffer from under the bed._ ”

“Flip the bed.”

Didn’t he remember the bed was built-in? Or that he was supposed to be ladylike? Flipping over beds wasn’t very ladylike. _“You’re holding the bed. You recognize a voice from far away, ‘Don’t take that! Look in the cabin at the stern - you’ll find some fun there! It sounds like Davis._ ”

The yautja were cursing now, clearly having gotten the double-meaning. Some words they used the translator refused to provide. The device confused way too often. “Search the porthole for a weapon!”

That, wasn’t ladylike, but sure.

_“You can’t search a window! Suddenly, the ship lurches to one side, throwing you out of the bed. The coffer bumps against your foot. ‘The Falcon! The Falcon conquers!”_

“Open the coffer!”

Jeeze these guys were way too enthusiastic. Maybe they just wanted to beat someone up.Well, they had to wait for it, provided they survived and didn't suffer a fate worse than death. _“It’s quite locked.”_

“Break it on the wall!”

Again, not ladylike. And, it was going to draw attention. But Davis already told the main character where some “fun” was, so…

_“That sentence isn’t one I recognize.”_

It was really, really hard not to laugh at their frustration. “Search the room again!”

She shrugged. Aya knew that was futile. _“There’s nothing under the bed. ‘Cap’n Jamison, we got ‘em!” cries a rough voice.”_

“Break the porthole to escape!”

Oh boy.

_“And how do you propose to do that?"_ Cheeky programmers. _"With a creak and a crash, somewhere a mast falls to the deck.”_

Man, if she had popcorn, she’d be choking on it from hearing and watching their reactions. “Smash the coffer!”

“ _Trying to destroy the coffer doesn’t do anything. Crash! You whirl around to see the door shatter, kicked by a hulking man, his twisted visage blackened with soot and blood._ ” Gee, this sounds familiar. “ _‘Me name’s Andy Crulley, and ladies learn to love me,’ sniggers the pirate, advancing towards you_.’”

More cursing. “ _‘Aieee!’ echoes a scream, followed by several grunts and thumps._ ”

They were enjoying her falsetto voice way too much. “Smash the coffer on his pathetic skull! It's not even worthy to make a trophy of!”

“ _I don’t know the word ‘skull’._ ”

Increasingly more cursing. “Hit him with coffer!”

This time, she took some pity and typed in a slightly altered phrase: “ _Hit Crulley with coffer._ ”

“ _You’re not holding the coffer_.”

Okay, that was partially also her mistake. “PICK UP THE DAMN COFFER!”

“ _Taken. ‘Avast me, but ain’t you a beauty,’ sniggers the pirate. His breath is heavy with rum.”_ Aya didn’t think she’d ever heard the yautja sound disgusted before. She wished she had a way of recording it. _“The Falcon, The Falcon conquers!_ ”

“NOW HIT CRULLEY’S PAUKING HEAD!”

They were getting way too into the game now. Aya was getting worried. She hoped they wouldn't break the Atari.

“ _With all your strength you whack the pirate over the head with the coffer. The pirate stumbles, dizzy. ‘They call me Andy, but I’m really randy,’ slurs the pirate. Crulley drags you, despite your resistance-_ ”

“Pauking piece of-!”

She ignored Kata’nu screeching for the moment. “ _Then suddenly, he grunts, stiffens and slumps into your arms. Stunned, Crulley collapses at your feet, eyes rolling._ ”

“YES!”

Again, ignoring them. “ _A tall form blocks the shattered door-_ ”

“C’JIT!”

“ _One fist still raised from striking your attacker. You catch a glimpse of the hard masculinity of his broad shoulders, the implied power in the scar that etches into the stranger’s jaw, and feel tremors course through your veins._ ”

Aya doubted those 'tremors' were entirely from fear. Damn, it was hard not to bite her lip as she remembered the cover to the game. This guy was no Fabio, but _hot damn_.

This time, the yautja were silent, giving her odd looks. Bhu’ja seemed agitated, and not from the gameplay per se. What? She was only translating what was on screen!

...Could they sense she found the character attractive? Crap. Quick, think of something ultra-gross. Right, Crulley, he was gross.

“ _Then you realize how ragged are his shirt, patched breeches, and high boots._ ” Shit, this was not helping. Her imagination was getting the better of her. Okay, now she was intentionally pissing them off by speaking in certain tones. “ _Intuitively, you understand -- He i_ _s the dreaded Falcon, scourge of the sea! Alas, your fate is sealed. Resigned, you meet his sea-blue eyes._ ”

“SMASH HIS HEAD IN, TOO!”

_“You recognize a voice from far away, ‘Don’t take that! Look in the cabin at the stern - you’ll find some fun there! It sounds like Davis.”_

Bakuub squinted, “These words are repeated?”

“Not without meaning,” she stated. “Your turn to pick something.”

“Can we attack him?”

“That’s not ladylike,” she said, before even typing anything in. “And the coffer is different in old culture. You’re not using your bare hands or using a true weapon. And, with how this is phrased, I really don’t think you should try.”

Seriously, the yautja were pissed off enough. Maybe this gameplay was a mistake.

“...Examine him for a weakness.”

“You do realize he has a crew outside that can easily kill you even if you’re lucky enough to hurt him, right?”

“Then, ask what he wants.”

“ _You used the word ‘want’ in a way I don’t understand._ ”

“Listen to him?”

Interesting choice. “ _You listen intently. To your surprise, the stranger bows. ‘Well met, my lady.’ His accent is cultured, his smile vibrant.” They were ramping up the growling now. Maybe she shouldn’t try to alter her voice so much. “I am Captain Nicholas Jamison, known in these waters as ‘The Falcon’. Your father has sent me.’ He chuckles at your glare of distrust._ ”

Kata’nu cheered, “Yes, this female may have some spine, yet!”

“ _‘Yes, you are like your sire. You needn’t believe me untried--I carry this.’ He hands you a missive._ ”

“Read it.”

It was irritating, following those demands, but she proceeded anyway. This was fun.

“ _The missive is in dear Papa’s handwriting…_ ” She went on to read the text, her throat starting to get sore. At the very least, this was good practice for storytelling to her baby. “ _The pirate bows. ‘My lady, may I offer my protection and my ship until your father is free?’"_

She'd forgotten how chivalrous, if a bit sexist, the lead romance was supposed to be. It was honestly a bit flattering. Too bad that wasn't going to happen. She doubted the Yautja would ever do stuff like that.

 _"‘Cap’n Jamison, we got ‘em!’ cries a rough voice._ ”

The option of making the next move appeared. She knew for a fact that you could flee, wait on deck, or scream. Point was, there was still a choice of going with the captain. She explained best she could without giving away what she knew were possible answers.

This time, all the yautja were staring at her. It was a silence not filled with awkwardness, but intensity. For what reason, she didn't know. Bhu'ja murmured, “You make the choice this time.”

Her? Wasn’t this their gameplay? Her choice didn't really matter in this case. It was their story, not hers. “I’ve played this before, so that’s not really fair.”

That and she had spoilers. Years later she found places where you could find walkthroughs to better play the story, but she never could bring herself to do it. It didn't feel earned if she did that. 

“What would _you_ do? If this actually happened? If you were in her position?”

As in, what would she do if she had the choice to follow a total stranger, one who could easily kill her, and travel into the unknown? Where she knew her life would be in danger?

...Wow, this really was familiar. She hadn't considered the similarities before. She was a massive idiot.

That meant, they were asking her, would _she_ have followed _them_.

She hesitated, “I, I guess I’d reluctantly go with him. I have people who need me in this scenario. I can’t just sit around and do nothing.”

The main character had her father, and Aya had her child.

“Then do that.”

Was there something else she wasn’t catching on to? “ _He chuckles, ‘Brave lady, to trust a stranger--and a pirate. Who knows, perhaps I forged your father’s signature? Keep by my side as we go to my ship -- few sailors respect a lady’s dignity._ ”

Bhu’ja grumbled something she couldn’t hear. Kata’nu cursed. And Bakuub? He was patient as always. After a series of events, including barely avoiding danger and needing to be rescued by The Falcon, she paused the game, rubbing her throat.

Bakuub offered her a drink, which she thanked him for. “I’m going to take a nap now. I know you’re pissed at the game, but, please don’t break it? It was fun playing that again.”

It was still weird to say ‘please’. However, she didn’t have much of anything of Earth left. That, and, this really was fun to play with them. It wasn’t nearly as entertaining as hunting, but it was enjoyable.

They agreed, and Kata’nu asked, “Can we play again soon?”

She beamed, “Of course.”


	2. Oregon Trail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A snippet of when the Yautja played Oregon Trail.
> 
> Hint, it didn't go well.

Aya still wanted to know how the fuck these guys managed to have an atari, and a working one with multiple video games. It certainly made things more entertaining.

"What is the 'Oregon Trail'?"

How the hell does she explain this? "It's mostly an educational game on how humans pioneered its namesake. The original Oregon Trail, not the game, was a treacherous journey that many undertook to seek haven or expansion of wealth. Thousands died in the attempt. The itself is a simulation based of the treacherous trail meant to test one's intelligence and emotional endurance. If you can get everyone in your group to survive, you've done spectacularly."

"Surviving this trail is difficult?"

Aya seriously doubted it would be difficult for these guys, but with the provided limitations... "That depends on the player. Are you up for the challenge?"

After loading the screen, she explained, "Okay, you can be one of three groups. You can be a banker, who is someone that basically is in charge of financial institutions and knows how to manage wealth. You'll get a bonus amount of funding for your journey based on this role. However, bankers aren't exactly known for their survival skills in the wilderness."

They did not look pleased by the idea of bankers. If anything, they just looked confused. "What is 'funding'?"

"Er, money? Currency?" Holy shit they had no idea what money was. "Um, think of it as a form of trading? But money is something that acts as a placeholder for the items you desire."

That clarified things. Sighing, she continued.

"Okay, then you can be a carpenter, or a farmer. These two have more experience outdoors. In the game, you need to earn a certain number of points. The harder you have to try to survive in the wild, the more points you'll need. So, the farmer earns the greatest number of points, and the banker earns the least."

"...We can't be hunters?"

Don't react too much. "Anybody can be a hunter in this. The skill of said hunter though is debatable pending what party you pick, and the player themselves."

The yautja were not pleased. "Then, we shall be the _farmers_."

"Great, so what's the name of the wagon leader?"

The three looked at each other and Aya pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay, there's an easy way to solve this. You know that 'paper, rock, scissors' game I showed you? The _manly_ way of solving things? Try that."

This was pretty much preparation for her baby. Kids squabbled all of the time, and this was no different.

"Bakuub."

Oh if only the people of the Oregon Trail could hear or see that name. What, how was that name spelled? It took a while, but she managed to get them all down. They needed a fifth party member's name, and she shrugged, typing in 'Baby'.

_"It is 1848. Your jumping off place for Oregon is Independence, Missouri. You must decide which month to leave Independence."_

And yautja didn't understand Earth calendar months, so Aya picked April.

_"Before leaving Independence you should buy equipment and supplies. You have $400.00 in cash, but you don't have to spend it all now."_

The last tidbit she repeated twice more to them.

" _You can buy whatever you want at Matt's General Store."_

...And as soon as the Yautja saw ammunition, everything went downhill.

Ooh boy.


	3. Space Invaders

Aya _tried_ to keep them from playing Space Invaders, she really did.

"Those ships are NOT aerodynamic!"

"Yeah, but they're still kicking your ass," she deadpanned, ignoring the blatant glares she received. "Careful, the more you keep your eye on me, the more likely you're about to be terminated."

There was more cursing, including some colorful language describing where the obviously fake extraterrestrials should shove their exhaust ports. She wondered what they'd think if they came across Star Wars.

Bhu'ja was ready to throw his remote when Bakuub calmly took it from him.

"My turn."

Next thing everyone knew, the invaders were flattened. 

_"You Win!"_

"Nice," Aya complimented.

Bakuub inclined his head, grinning a little. "I'm starting to understand the appeal of these forms of entertainment."

More cursing erupted from behind the two as Aya high-fived him.

"Best two out of three?"

He huffed, "I accept your challenge."

May the best one win...


End file.
